I finished school. It's funny looking at the title of this blog cause it was in school that my teacher taught me to say that I was "finished", NOT "done." Whenever I said "I'm done!" she would mock me saying "You're dumb???" It was painful, but I guess I didn't learn well enough. (I also don't know when to use "good" or "well")
But the point is that there has been a divorce and school and I are no longer together. It was ugly and school took most of my money, but I managed to sneak away with a piece of paper that looks harmless, but actually means very much in this world. :)
So I have started the rest of my life...and it doesn't feel any different. It really just feels like another Christmas break, you know? Nothing is different from last year, yet everything is different. It's weird, really. I don't always know how I am supposed to respond to such change, Biblically. I know God has called us to grow up and work, and I am blessed to be able to do so, but what about the transition? What about the in between? All I have ever known is school and studying and taking extended breaks, but all that is gone. The majority of my spiritual life, and all of my spiritual growth has been in college, and now I'm not in college anymore. Hmmm...
Well, I know that God is always trying to sanctify me and make me pure, so I will rejoice in this time. And allow him to stretch me as he sees fit, which is probably better than I see fit. I guess I don't really come to any set conclusions from writing on this blog, but its fun to get my thoughts out. I will try to keep up with it more now that I am out in the real world and not busy 24-7.
merry Christmas!!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Game of Life
Today I am back in Katy (home). My little sister asked if I wanted to play a game with her and my older sis, and I said sure. She told me it was a game called "life". My older sister and myself used to play this when we were younger and I haven't played in a long time. So after getting the game set-up I began to remember the rules.
Basically, to start off "life" you have 10,000 dollars. You get to start on one of two paths, either going to college or just starting your career. The benefit of starting your career is you get to have a head start on everyone else, and start getting paid. The college path puts you 40,000 dollars in debt before you even start, takes more time, and just like in real life, you have more job options. The whole time you are in a car driving through "life". Now it gets interesting: to get a job you blindly pick from a deck of cards. The job you get barely matters, except that based on your job, when people land on different spots, they give you some money. :) In addition to picking a job randomly, you also pick a salary randomly. This ranges from 30,000 to 100,000! So even if you are a doctor, you can make 30 grand, or an artist can make 100 grand. It's all based on luck. But don't worry, your job and salary make change during your "life". Along the way you get married. This isn't a choice, you come to a stop sign and get a wife or husband. They sit next to you in car (the man always drives). You also get a house at random. These houses can either be 30,000 or 200,000 dollars. After you get a house, you start racking up kids. This, too, is random. If you land on a space you get a kid. Or you can adopt, and sometimes you get twins. The number of kids you have only affects schooling, everything doesn't get affected. The end of the game is retirement. And the winner is based on who has the most money.
Now for my overly in depth analysis of this child's game. :)
Okay, at first when we started playing, i noted to my older sis that this game seems to influence children very much toward the American Dream. I mean the end all of the game is to retire with the most money! "The one with the most toys wins"...That is scary that children are being taught this lie from such a young age! People can say this about other games, like monopoly, but this game is supposed to be a game about life. I guess looking at the American dream, that is pretty accurate since so many people "live" for the pursuit of money and the get the most toys.
Also, what does this say to destiny? The most important decisions in life are made by random luck and chance? You're job is simply what is given to you, as are your salary, spouse, and house. You have no say in your future, God has no say in your future, there is just a hidden mystical being which deals you your cards and you just have to learn to "live" with it.
I also want to point out the American ideals that are pushed onto children in this game (not that necessarily disagree with these values): You get married. Your spouse is to be the opposite sex. You do have kids. You pay your taxes. You work your whole life. You retire. You get a job. You get a house. Like I said, I don't necessarily disagree with these, but it's amazing to see these ideals taught to children so early.
Let's look at life in a more Biblical way. Jesus declares in prayer to the Father in John 17:3 that true life is to know God and Jesus, who was sent by God. This is the definition of true life given by the creator of life himself!!! God is not seen in the game of "life". And, honestly, I'm glad. I can imagine how badly milton bradley would mess up God and impart a mere sense of religion onto children. But life as we are meant to know it is KNOWING God. Not just acknowledging him, but knowing him. Entering a relationship with him Life isn't about collecting the most money. Winning has nothing to do with what we do...it doesn't make sense, does it? Our victory is in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:56-57). His victory is over death. Yes, friends, death is the enemy that man spends his whole "life" fighting. And Jesus, by taking death on, has succeeded over it. Our goal in life is to be God. In Phillipians 3:8 Paul declares that he has counted all things as loss (that includes his career, salary, house, wife (i know he wasn't married, but that had to be a doing of God) and everything else that the game of "life" says we need to store up). All these things are a loss and Christ is what he has gained. To the world this doesn't make sense. It is actually nonsensical. "Trade everything for a guy who died 2,000 years ago???" Well, if Christ stayed dead, then yes, that would be stupid. But Christ is risen and has victory! There is much reason in trusting in him now!
As to the notion of destiny, God was/is/ and will always be in control. He is the one who plans out everything. And nothing is in opposition to his plan. No, we don't have power and control over our lives. No, destiny is not the hidden hand that directs life. God works to his glory. (Romans 8:28). Proverbs 3:5-6 assures us that when we trust in God, he will take care of us. He is the one makes our paths. He is in control. Our job, spouse, location, and every other facet of life is not random to God. But he has spent much time planning out our course. That should be encouraging.
I know this was lot to take out of a little game, but it really got me thinking. We, who have grown up in the west, have such false ideals held up as good. We are called to a better life, seeking pleasure and satisfaction above all else. And even though we may think "I got this covered. I trust God with my life." we still look to the American Dream to give us what it promises. I am glad that I got to play this game and be reminded of the "life" that God is not calling me to live. I was able to see in simple terms what the American Dream is made out to be and how much it is in contrast to Biblical living. I hope that this long discussion benefited you as it did me.
Basically, to start off "life" you have 10,000 dollars. You get to start on one of two paths, either going to college or just starting your career. The benefit of starting your career is you get to have a head start on everyone else, and start getting paid. The college path puts you 40,000 dollars in debt before you even start, takes more time, and just like in real life, you have more job options. The whole time you are in a car driving through "life". Now it gets interesting: to get a job you blindly pick from a deck of cards. The job you get barely matters, except that based on your job, when people land on different spots, they give you some money. :) In addition to picking a job randomly, you also pick a salary randomly. This ranges from 30,000 to 100,000! So even if you are a doctor, you can make 30 grand, or an artist can make 100 grand. It's all based on luck. But don't worry, your job and salary make change during your "life". Along the way you get married. This isn't a choice, you come to a stop sign and get a wife or husband. They sit next to you in car (the man always drives). You also get a house at random. These houses can either be 30,000 or 200,000 dollars. After you get a house, you start racking up kids. This, too, is random. If you land on a space you get a kid. Or you can adopt, and sometimes you get twins. The number of kids you have only affects schooling, everything doesn't get affected. The end of the game is retirement. And the winner is based on who has the most money.
Now for my overly in depth analysis of this child's game. :)
Okay, at first when we started playing, i noted to my older sis that this game seems to influence children very much toward the American Dream. I mean the end all of the game is to retire with the most money! "The one with the most toys wins"...That is scary that children are being taught this lie from such a young age! People can say this about other games, like monopoly, but this game is supposed to be a game about life. I guess looking at the American dream, that is pretty accurate since so many people "live" for the pursuit of money and the get the most toys.
Also, what does this say to destiny? The most important decisions in life are made by random luck and chance? You're job is simply what is given to you, as are your salary, spouse, and house. You have no say in your future, God has no say in your future, there is just a hidden mystical being which deals you your cards and you just have to learn to "live" with it.
I also want to point out the American ideals that are pushed onto children in this game (not that necessarily disagree with these values): You get married. Your spouse is to be the opposite sex. You do have kids. You pay your taxes. You work your whole life. You retire. You get a job. You get a house. Like I said, I don't necessarily disagree with these, but it's amazing to see these ideals taught to children so early.
Let's look at life in a more Biblical way. Jesus declares in prayer to the Father in John 17:3 that true life is to know God and Jesus, who was sent by God. This is the definition of true life given by the creator of life himself!!! God is not seen in the game of "life". And, honestly, I'm glad. I can imagine how badly milton bradley would mess up God and impart a mere sense of religion onto children. But life as we are meant to know it is KNOWING God. Not just acknowledging him, but knowing him. Entering a relationship with him Life isn't about collecting the most money. Winning has nothing to do with what we do...it doesn't make sense, does it? Our victory is in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:56-57). His victory is over death. Yes, friends, death is the enemy that man spends his whole "life" fighting. And Jesus, by taking death on, has succeeded over it. Our goal in life is to be God. In Phillipians 3:8 Paul declares that he has counted all things as loss (that includes his career, salary, house, wife (i know he wasn't married, but that had to be a doing of God) and everything else that the game of "life" says we need to store up). All these things are a loss and Christ is what he has gained. To the world this doesn't make sense. It is actually nonsensical. "Trade everything for a guy who died 2,000 years ago???" Well, if Christ stayed dead, then yes, that would be stupid. But Christ is risen and has victory! There is much reason in trusting in him now!
As to the notion of destiny, God was/is/ and will always be in control. He is the one who plans out everything. And nothing is in opposition to his plan. No, we don't have power and control over our lives. No, destiny is not the hidden hand that directs life. God works to his glory. (Romans 8:28). Proverbs 3:5-6 assures us that when we trust in God, he will take care of us. He is the one makes our paths. He is in control. Our job, spouse, location, and every other facet of life is not random to God. But he has spent much time planning out our course. That should be encouraging.
I know this was lot to take out of a little game, but it really got me thinking. We, who have grown up in the west, have such false ideals held up as good. We are called to a better life, seeking pleasure and satisfaction above all else. And even though we may think "I got this covered. I trust God with my life." we still look to the American Dream to give us what it promises. I am glad that I got to play this game and be reminded of the "life" that God is not calling me to live. I was able to see in simple terms what the American Dream is made out to be and how much it is in contrast to Biblical living. I hope that this long discussion benefited you as it did me.
Monday, November 15, 2010
done.
okay, i'm not really done (i do only have 31 days left, though!!!) but i am done for now. I have just come out of a really busy, stressful period of my life. this past week or so was the climax and i finished tonight. i just took a test in my kinetics class (designing reactors and stuff) and am declaring an official sabbath tomorrow. before this test, i had an interview in houston starting thursday and ending friday. and before that i had a massive design project for class that was due on thursday (we finished the report on wed. night for a total of 321 pages!!!). On top off that load, i found out that the world doesn't stop when you get bogged down... it just keeps on rolling.
looking back on it now, it seems like easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy...but it wasn't. I KNOW the only way I got through it was by the help of the Lord. I caught myself this weekend as I studied for this test asking repeatedly of God to give me grace. That was all that I prayed. I know some may think "oh that is so good that you realize your need, and don't just ask for a good grade!" well, that may have some truth, but it's wrong. b/c i took my eyes off God. i said that my needs were known by me, not by God. I said that i could choose what to pray for and God would have to listen. I never praised God. I always looked at my depravity and tried praying to my God. it didn't work. that's not how prayer works. prayer is not a time to have the God of the universe running around catering to your whims. It is connection with the almighty God of the universe made possible by the death and resurrection of the living Christ.
1 Corinthians says that we are the temple of God. The temple is where God's presence would settle and where God's people would go to meet with him. Well guess what? Now the place to go to meet with God is into the personal temple he has placed within ourselves, as believers. The Spirit of God dwells in us, that is where God has settled and where God has chosen to commune with each of us. That is prayer. Prayer is coming into the presence of an almighty God and being caught in awe of His glory. That doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't ask for things, that would be against the commands of the Bible. but that isn't the main point of prayer.
the main point, the reason God has instituted prayer is to meet with his people. That is what he wants. Lets serve God by meeting with him.
looking back on it now, it seems like easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy...but it wasn't. I KNOW the only way I got through it was by the help of the Lord. I caught myself this weekend as I studied for this test asking repeatedly of God to give me grace. That was all that I prayed. I know some may think "oh that is so good that you realize your need, and don't just ask for a good grade!" well, that may have some truth, but it's wrong. b/c i took my eyes off God. i said that my needs were known by me, not by God. I said that i could choose what to pray for and God would have to listen. I never praised God. I always looked at my depravity and tried praying to my God. it didn't work. that's not how prayer works. prayer is not a time to have the God of the universe running around catering to your whims. It is connection with the almighty God of the universe made possible by the death and resurrection of the living Christ.
1 Corinthians says that we are the temple of God. The temple is where God's presence would settle and where God's people would go to meet with him. Well guess what? Now the place to go to meet with God is into the personal temple he has placed within ourselves, as believers. The Spirit of God dwells in us, that is where God has settled and where God has chosen to commune with each of us. That is prayer. Prayer is coming into the presence of an almighty God and being caught in awe of His glory. That doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't ask for things, that would be against the commands of the Bible. but that isn't the main point of prayer.
the main point, the reason God has instituted prayer is to meet with his people. That is what he wants. Lets serve God by meeting with him.
Friday, October 22, 2010
process design
so i recently began working on my senior design project. me and a team of 3 other people are designing a chemical plant. it is pretty cool and kinda fun, but even more stressful. we basically have no idea what we are doing and are hopelessly lost. even our teacher the other day informed us, in case we didn't know, that we "are totally lost." :(
this was not very encouraging, as you can imagine. but i have, yet again, been drawn to the Lord through this process. one, i am realizing that chemical engineering really is where i want and need to be. God has given me a passion for the subject. In fact as of 2 years ago I would have said that I hated all things regarding chemical engineering. Now, I actually am the only one on my team that is having fun with the project. Isn't it amazing to see how God will change your heart if you let him? Another reason that I can see why I need to be a chemical engineer is because God has set all believers to be lights in the world. and after seeing how stress can quickly break down polite relationships, there needs to be a light among the chemical engineers. if everyone went on to be a full time minister, who would reach those who don't go to church?
point is that even though this is a tough project and even i am stressed, God will use it for his glory. Some days I am able to encourage the people around me, other days are considered good if I don't yell at anyone. But through it all I come to God for more grace. More grace to show towards others. My dependency in Him is being strengthened and I am encouraged to see that when I go to the real world, there is no way for me to forget about God. I can't do it without him!
this was not very encouraging, as you can imagine. but i have, yet again, been drawn to the Lord through this process. one, i am realizing that chemical engineering really is where i want and need to be. God has given me a passion for the subject. In fact as of 2 years ago I would have said that I hated all things regarding chemical engineering. Now, I actually am the only one on my team that is having fun with the project. Isn't it amazing to see how God will change your heart if you let him? Another reason that I can see why I need to be a chemical engineer is because God has set all believers to be lights in the world. and after seeing how stress can quickly break down polite relationships, there needs to be a light among the chemical engineers. if everyone went on to be a full time minister, who would reach those who don't go to church?
point is that even though this is a tough project and even i am stressed, God will use it for his glory. Some days I am able to encourage the people around me, other days are considered good if I don't yell at anyone. But through it all I come to God for more grace. More grace to show towards others. My dependency in Him is being strengthened and I am encouraged to see that when I go to the real world, there is no way for me to forget about God. I can't do it without him!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Uphill...not fun
Today as I furiously pedaled my bike uphill I was reminded of something I learned while in Lebanon. Lebanon is pretty mountainous. And most beautiful sites were up on a mountain. Well there are two ways that we went up the mountain, walking and in a car. Either was was awful!!! If we walked, it was so burdensome and we complained the whole way. And in the car, it grunted and pushed the whole way up. And we had to turn off the ac so the car had enough power to make it.
That is when it hit me ( and it has occurred to me many more times since, like today) that we all want to be at the top of the hill/mountain, but no one wants to work for it. And this is more than just the physical hill, although it is true. In life, we want success without doing anything for it. We even expect it. But that isn't right. And although going downhill is easy, no one likes to be in the valley. There is no view there. I don't think I need to keep drawing out what I mean, although I will go into the spiritual part now:
Romans 8:16-17 talks about recieveing the promised glory of God through Jesus. And it is as beautiful thing. But there is a sort of catch and I would paraphrase, but Paul says it so well:
So if you are suffering or if life is just tough right now and you feel like you are getting somewhere, but there has to be an easier way, stay strong. God is going to pull you through b/c he said he would. He is faithful and the climb is worth it.
That is when it hit me ( and it has occurred to me many more times since, like today) that we all want to be at the top of the hill/mountain, but no one wants to work for it. And this is more than just the physical hill, although it is true. In life, we want success without doing anything for it. We even expect it. But that isn't right. And although going downhill is easy, no one likes to be in the valley. There is no view there. I don't think I need to keep drawing out what I mean, although I will go into the spiritual part now:
Romans 8:16-17 talks about recieveing the promised glory of God through Jesus. And it is as beautiful thing. But there is a sort of catch and I would paraphrase, but Paul says it so well:
The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him."Provided we suffer with him." Yeah, we're heirs of the living God and co-heirs with his only Son, but we gotta suffer. This is the highest mountain. And it isn't easy. We don't just coast through. We gotta suffer. Why? "In order that we may also be glorified with him." That is our goal, and his promise to us: glorification. Paul continues to say that our current suffering is not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed. Our uphill climb is going to look like nothing compared to the glory that God will give us. The view from the top will prove to be worth it.
So if you are suffering or if life is just tough right now and you feel like you are getting somewhere, but there has to be an easier way, stay strong. God is going to pull you through b/c he said he would. He is faithful and the climb is worth it.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
The wonder of the Bible
Cameron (A&M Navigators Director) and myself have been working on coming up with/writing a Bible study the past two days. And it has been a great experience. It is so amazing to get to study the Bible in such a way as to help others study the Bible. It is different than simply studying the Bible for your own benefit, you actually have to make sense of your thoughts and figure out how to get others to come to the same conclusion. It is also different than simply teaching, b/c you need to cultivate an answer, not just give them one.
We spent most of today looking up cross references in the Old Testament and designing questions. You wanna know what I learned? The Old Testament is so awesome! And Jesus mentions it a lot more than us Gentile Americans (and Lebanese) realize. AND it references Jesus more than we realize as well. Read John 10, about the Good Shepherd, then go and read Ezekiel 34. Then come back and tell me how far away your socks were blown off to. :)
Jesus is simply amazing. And I am slowly realizing that the more we learn and desire to learn about him, the more in awe we become. And more we realize that we know him so little. Keep seeking the Lord and he WILL reveal himself to you (it's a promise).
serge
We spent most of today looking up cross references in the Old Testament and designing questions. You wanna know what I learned? The Old Testament is so awesome! And Jesus mentions it a lot more than us Gentile Americans (and Lebanese) realize. AND it references Jesus more than we realize as well. Read John 10, about the Good Shepherd, then go and read Ezekiel 34. Then come back and tell me how far away your socks were blown off to. :)
Jesus is simply amazing. And I am slowly realizing that the more we learn and desire to learn about him, the more in awe we become. And more we realize that we know him so little. Keep seeking the Lord and he WILL reveal himself to you (it's a promise).
serge
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Its good
You know, I am very glad that God works the way he does. Cause if he worked the way I do, that would suck for me. Simply look at the first sentence of this post...I wasn't saying that yesterday. I am so wishy-washy ( i love that word, it makes me want to sneak into a washing machine...) in everything I do. I like to go around pretending that I know what is best for me, but yea, I know not what is in my best interest. And even though at 8 o'clcok tonight I will probably be wishing that God would work the way I want him to, I know that I am truly happy he doesn't.
Today I was able to devote more time to prayer than I have in a long time. There are a few reasons that I have been having difficulty praying, but thats not the point. The point is that I was not wanting to come into amazing communion with the God of all creation!
In my short, short life as a believer in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, I have come to learn a thing or two about prayer. Regardless of how often I actually carry them out, they are still knowledge from experience. One way to get into a "prayerful mood" is to to praise God and pray for others. Why? Cause prayer is not, has never been, and will never be about me. It is about God and others. And when I begin to look at God's beauty and begin to pray for others, I get to a place where I am comfortable with God.
I don't know why I chose to post this post. I guess that I thought a blog is to convey my thoughts, and these are my thoughts today. So take 'em or leave 'em. :)
serge
Today I was able to devote more time to prayer than I have in a long time. There are a few reasons that I have been having difficulty praying, but thats not the point. The point is that I was not wanting to come into amazing communion with the God of all creation!
In my short, short life as a believer in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, I have come to learn a thing or two about prayer. Regardless of how often I actually carry them out, they are still knowledge from experience. One way to get into a "prayerful mood" is to to praise God and pray for others. Why? Cause prayer is not, has never been, and will never be about me. It is about God and others. And when I begin to look at God's beauty and begin to pray for others, I get to a place where I am comfortable with God.
I don't know why I chose to post this post. I guess that I thought a blog is to convey my thoughts, and these are my thoughts today. So take 'em or leave 'em. :)
serge
Monday, August 30, 2010
Last semester
today was the first day of my last semester. I thought I would be super excited...but I wasn't. I'm not sad, more apathetic. Like I am not ready for the semester to begin. I am not ready to learn or interact with students and professors. I don't want to veg on my couch, but I don't want to be in a classroom either. I guess that defines my life. Stuck between two decisions that I don't really have a choice in anyway. Like whether I like it or not school has begun. I pretend like there is the option to not go to school. Like vegging is a serious choice, but it's not.
The reality is that I am in school. This is where I get to be. So why am I complaining to the online world instead of coming before God and asking him to change my heart? Good question...
The only other blog I have written was a travel blog this past summer. I enjoyed writing it and being able to share my thoughts, no matter how random. So I decided to start a normal one. Let me know what you think and I will try to not make it too boring. I just hope I actually keep up with it.
serge
The reality is that I am in school. This is where I get to be. So why am I complaining to the online world instead of coming before God and asking him to change my heart? Good question...
The only other blog I have written was a travel blog this past summer. I enjoyed writing it and being able to share my thoughts, no matter how random. So I decided to start a normal one. Let me know what you think and I will try to not make it too boring. I just hope I actually keep up with it.
serge
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