Give reason

Peter tells us in his first letter: "but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect"
(1 Peter 3:15)

I always used to read this verse and say "I got this! I have written out my testimony and practiced it dozens of times!" Which is true, I have practiced dozens of times. I've even practiced with long testimonies over coffee that took an hour or more. I've practiced with a five sentence testimony, which is exactly what it sounds like. This isn't to show off or anything, it's just fact. I have taken this verse to heart and prepared myself.

I am prepared to give reason for my faith...

Well the other day I was hit with something that I wasn't prepared for. I was talking with a co-worker and she noticed that I had a blog up. She asked what blogs I follow and as I started listing a few, I realized that they were all "Christian" blogs. So I told her that it's a bunch of Christian blogs that she wouldn't have heard of.

So she asked me "Why are you a Christian?"

(Cue testimony). Right???
Wrong.

"Well, I was raised going to church and when I got to college I guess I just started getting a little more serious in my faith."

That's not my testimony. I never practiced that. And honestly, in the moment, I wasn't even thinking about sharing my testimony. I didn't realize she was asking for it. I just wanted to take the subject off Christ as quickly as I could.

When I read this verse before I always expected the non-believer to come to me and say "What is your testimony about how you were saved?" Now I realize that that isn't going to happen. That this girl sincerely asked me for a reason for my hope and I shut it down. She was looking for a real reason to hope and now she is still searching.

I am not beating myself up about this, thinking that I ruined all hope of her ever being saved. But I am using this as 1) an opportunity to warn other about waiting for the word "testimony" to share their faith. and 2) to learn about myself and how I react to others talking about and challenging my faith in the office. I never expected or planned on being the guy who kept his faith in Jesus private from everyone else. And I don't plan on staying on this path of being ashamed of the gospel. If you wanted to pray for me, you can pray that I would stand strong on the power of the gospel.